wilkes

Those are words I can respect. I feel much the same. It is to bad more don't.

To understand it you must understand why Christ allowed his on death and the true understanding of why.

I put myself in his place at a dark time in my life. It led me to to understand why he was here and why his death was allowed.

This world was never meant to be this way with so much hurt and pain. Why it is allowed to continue I do not know.

I would gladly die and burn in h'ell today if it would end the pain and suffering of the world. Even for those I have never met.

I hope the best for him. I lost my father years ago. My mother is still with us at 92. She is lucky that she is still sound of mind and keeps her own home. Still we worry.

decsurvey, many of us have been where you are. You sound like a loving & compassionate son.

Now for my selfish part.

Myself I want to go with him as there is nothing here for me. My mother is not far behind and besides family there is no one left for me to love. My heart and soul are scarred from the hurt of love of others close and dear and those far. It built a wall some years ago around itself so no one else could get in to be hurt or cause hurt.

When it is all over I hope I am still here mentally and emotionally as I will need to leave for a time.

I will never be able to go back to the Coffee House in Cajah Mtn in Lenoir to eat again, not without the flood gates of memories opening. Even home will be to hard to stay for a time. It will be a lonely home.

I am doing my crying now as later i will not be able to nor have the energy left.

I want so much to follow him.

He is my daddy, my lifetime hero, and the closest person to the core of my heart.

Blessings be on your family and home.

After 93 years he has started down that path to the end of the journey in this world.

He has lost all his weight. He eats and drinks very little. He sleeps most of the time.

Doctors can find nothing wrong other than dehydration. I have come to the conclusion that he is ready to move on. He said he didn't care that it happens to all.

He is still coherent and the doctors have to do his wishes.

We give him what he wants. He has drinks, ensures, water, gatorade, and we offer food or to get or fix whatever he wants. We ask him if he needs or wants to eat, remind him he needs to drink and eat, and do not force anything. We listen and talk and try to be there for him

His voice has become hoarse and raspy as it fades. His breathing is different. He can still get around with someone standing by in case he starts to fall. He gets up only to smoke his cigars or go to bathroom and put on is clothes.

He says daily that he is not all here referring to mental and mind. He knows us all. knows what and where, and thanks us all.

He is the last of his family who have all passed over last two years six months apart. We almost lost him near his birthday in April. He let them put in a pacemaker. He was more here and had more energy.

He is the last member of the Lenoir NCNG that mobilized for WWII 16 September 1940. He is proud of that.

I will make his last days the most comfortable I can regardless of the cost in health or money. I have taken leave from work for however long to be home.

Thought about this time all my life to prepare mentally and emotionally, I can say that there is nothing that can prepare someone for this.

He is my father and best friend forever.

I will gladly burn in **** so he and others shall be with Lord and God.