wilkes

My dad passed away today at 1245 hours this day.

He had been in rehabilitation in Lenoir. They came in and worked his legs and arms as he had become dehydrated again and fulk on PT was not an option any longer.

He went back to bed and moments later sfarted gasping for air. He lasted a few moments and passed.

He was my purpose in life these days and my hero. Could not ask for a better father. Inloved him dearly more than I knew as it now hurts to the very center of my soul.

thank you all for listening, your thoughts and prayers, advice, and plain listening to problems over the years.

Home no longer seems like home. It is quite and no longer has that warm home feeling. It is empty it seems much like the heart.

Knew the day would come in next few weeks from not eating and drinking any longer. He went somewhat quickly. He was at peace.

He is with God now.

Again thank you all.

My advise would be to stay in present moment and give less thought to what you will do after. Every moment that you spend thinking about what you will do after takes away from moments that you have now. Focus on your Pa, and less on yourself.

I'm so sorry DEC. It must be so hard for you. Remember love you've shared and focus on that. Talk to him about how much you love him and how much you will miss him.Tell him stories of good times you've had. If you need support for yourself there are friends who would meet you for a talk or come sit with your father while you rest. When he goes to be with the Lord we can be also at the service or visitation. Just let us know what you need. I would be there to listen and suppor if you need a friend Sending prayers for your Father and you. He will be in Heaven pain free and happy soon. You will follow him, hopefully a longtime from now and feel the same peace. Peace and Hugs

Celebrate his accomplishments. It helps ease the pain.

Sorry dec

My heart and prayers are with you. I'm so sorry.

Please let me know if there is anything you need.

He is home in his bed. He has stopped eating and drinking save for some flavored drinks. He went to bed on Saturday night as usual about 8:30 pm and would not get out of bed on Sunday. He is slowly dehydrating and starving as his body has no reserves for fat and not much muscle to burn. He resembles one of the Holocaust people who walked out as skeletons.

We called in Caldwell Hospice they tell me stuff I already know but it helps. Family has been helping to take care of him.

He will not go to doctor or hospital as he is all still here in mind and can answer questions. EMS came and checked him out but he refused to go. Cannot force him and I will not allow anyone to do so against his wishes as much as it pains me to see this slow death. It is split 50/50 from reading as to whether terminal dehydration and starvation are painful as the body produces chemicals to put at bay the hunger pains and thirst save for a dry mouth. From my perspective it seems a semi-painful slow death.

I have sit with him and asked if he wanted to go to the hospital and explained what is happening to him and asked if he was wanting to die. He will say he not to worry about it. He understands what is going on.

He is the last of his family and I conclude he is ready to go home to be with them.

I will be here the best I can for him to the end and bring his ashes home. Much after that I don't know who I will be as change has already occurred in my demeanor, personality, and attitude. Do not know if I can stay in this house. Either way I am taking a vacation for an extended period afterward to gather my thoughts. It is like loving someone to the core of the soul and having it yanked out leaving a hole that nothing can fill. Now I know why couples that have been together for so many decades die one after the other in a short time of the passing of the first as their love went to the core of the soul. There truly is love that runs deep to the core and truly exists a broken heart.

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, and words as they mean much to someone who you have never met. Thanks most of all for putting up with my sadness.

Good Luck Dec. for what you and your Father's future holds.

yet that is exactly what god did to his son...traded him for everyone else.

I feel sorry for your father and those who love him, but you will "gladly burn in ***so he and others shall be with Lord and God"? Are you serious? Do you think God would trade you for him and others? We don't make contracts with God. I hope you were using hyperbole to enhance your point.

Thoughts and Prayers for you and your Dad.

I'm so sorry that this time is coming up on you. I know from experience that no one can ever take a daddy's place in your heart. I miss my daddy so much at times and he has been gone 12 years now. I definitely relate with the pain that you dread. A few months before daddy died, he called and asked me to come by after work because he needed to talk with me. I said no daddy, I don't want to do that. He said you have to. I've already talked to the others and it's your turn. I want you to know what I want. So nothing doing, I had to go by and listen to daddy tell me what he wanted when he passed. And then I had to call my sons and ask them to be pallbearers for their grandpa's funeral. I can't write this without the tears flowing. Hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life besides actually bury my daddy. Anyway, daddy told me something that I think of all the time. He said, "death is a part of life" And he was right. We all have to face it. We all deal with the pain. But we get through it and go on, even if we don't want to. So reading your post about no wanting to deal with it is something I can understand maybe more than most. Daddy passed away a few months after our talk. He had been sick and in declining health for years and when he finally passed it was hard but it was almost a blessing that he wasn't struggling every breath anymore. Dec, love what time you have with your dad. Go the place you went with your dad and remember the love you had for him and that he loved you. And remember, life goes on. We have no other choice. Love you, friend. I'm here if you need to talk.

He has his mind? He knows you?

How wonderful.

I was a primary caregiver for 8 years of a loved one who didn't know who I was. She lived to be 92, but she really left us at about 85. She would introduce Herself to me several times a day. Had to be wiped, hand Fed, and bathed. A shell.

Respect and best wishes to you.

Decs there's no reason for you to say you'll burn in **** for any reason. Your father has lived a long & precious life, longer than many many others. Just stay strong beside his side & when time comes you can revisit him in Heaven for ever lasting peace together. Be strong, many have & will till that day comes, even though it will eventually fall upon all of creation.

I suppose that after a long, hopefully happy and satisfying life, being ready to move on with the people that you care about and who care about you around you would be the way that most of us would want our end to be. I know that it must be tough. It's probably never easy to say goodbye or let go of the one's we love, but if one has to go, hopefully these circumstances can bring some comfort.

I'm truly sorry to hear about your dad dec, it's hard loosing anyone especially our loved ones. Best wishes for you and your family through this.