wilkes

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death'?"

She saw a sea of blank faces,except for Little Hodakio, a bright foreign exchange student from Japan, who had his hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775," he said.
"Very good! ?

Who said,'Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth.'
Again, no response except from Little Hodakio: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

"Excellent!" said the teacher continuing,
"Let's try one a bit more difficult -- Who said, 'Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country'?"

Once again, Hodakio's was the only hand in the air and he said: "John F. Kennedy, 1961."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed of yourselves, Little Hodakio isn't from this
country and he knows more about our history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper:"F_ _ k the Japs."

"Who said that? -- I want to know right now!? she angrily demanded.
Little Hodakio put his hand up, "General MacArthur,1945."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke.'

The teacher glares around and asks, 'All right! ? Now who said that?"
Again, Little Hodakio says,"George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? ? Suck this!"
Little Hodakio jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now with almost mob hysteria someone said, "You little bleep! -- If you say anything else -- I'll kill you!"
Little Hodakio frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Michael Jackson to the children testifying against him, 2004."

The teacher fainted. As-the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said, "Oh bleep, we're screwed!"
Little Hodakio said quietly,"The American people, November 4, 2008."

A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. So he decides to try it out at dinner.
DAD: Son, where were you today during school?
SON: At school *robot slaps son*
SON: Ok, I went to the movies.
DAD: Which one?
SON: Toy Story *robot slaps son again*
SON: Ok, it was A Day with a p**n Star.
DAD: WHAT?! When I was your age, I didn't even know what p**n was. *Robot slaps dad*
MOM: HAHA!! After all he is your son, *Robot slaps mom*

Dead Penguins - I never knew this!

Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica?
Where do they go?

Wonder no more! ! !
It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives an extremely ordered and complex life. The penguin is very committed to its family and will mate for life, as well as maintain a form of compassionate contact with its offspring throughout its life.

If a penguin is found dead on the ice surface, other members of the family and social circle have been known to dig holes in the ice, using their vestigial wings and beaks, until the hole is deep enough for the dead bird to be rolled into, and buried.

The male penguins then gather in a circle around the fresh grave and sing:

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."

"Freeze a jolly good fellow."