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Topic: This has probly been asked
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marlonbrando
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Posted 4:26 pm, 11/07/2009
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rind = find sorry typo
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marlonbrando
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Posted 4:25 pm, 11/07/2009
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OMGgetalife, If I do a background check and rind out that a sex offender that raped someone, or committed an act with an underage child, then yes I will get upset. My child will be told about I found out. That person will not see nor be around my children again.
As for the sex offender's registry, I check it once a month to see who new has moved into the area and what they have done to get that title. When a child molester is caught, they have usually abused 80-120 time before ever getting caught. 1 in 5 of all women in the US will be sexually abused. There is a difference between stealing panties, and rape, but quite a few people on that registry has pleaded down to a lesser charge. My job is to protect my children. I know who their friends are, and where they are. I encourage them to go out, at least once a week to be with friends, just for fun, not sports. They play soccer, baseball, softball, and a little lacrosse now. There are a 107 sex offenders registered in Wilkes. Here is the registry link. It will tell you what they were convicted of, what they look like, and exactly where they live.It will even give you a mile radius around your house. I get sick thinking of that rapist that served 15 years and got out, and then started all over again, but this time killing people hiding them all over the house. The police were going to his house once a month to check on him. That did so much good, that the body count is up to 11 now.
http://sexoffender.ncdoj.go...
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OMGgetalife
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Posted 1:57 pm, 11/07/2009
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Ok it is like this. Because everyone things everyone is a sex offender in Wilkes Co. get a life and get out the house. I just want to say everyone on that list didnt mess with a child. I have seen it so much on here and on TV and I am just tired of it. I want to know something if you meet someone and you are haning out with him or her and you become good friends. Then one day you see them on line there a sex offender or they have a past where they went to jail. Will that change the way you look at them ? Yes is will because you ppl are so stuck up. What if you start dateing a guy or girl and they told you about there past. You would look down on them. Dang quit thinking bad about everyone and "the first place " only wants to look is at the sex offender list. Take a good look at your self. Someones past is just that. If you want to look at it why do you think you cant leave your doors open anymore. Because it is ppl like you who hold someones past against them and they have to make money or they get lonely or something. Try to get to know someone and quit thinking everyone is a sex offender. If your looking for somoene there is ways and the first place is not the sex offender list. Why dont you ppl get your head out your **** and look at your self. You want to look down on someone but what did you do in the past. Ok.. Just because you didnt go to jail didnt mean ****. If you are so stuck on everyone is a sex offender you need to look in the real world. I know ppl who have been charged with crimes because there kid was mad and there friends did it. Then the start will still send you off and then the kid was man over not being able to do what they wanted to or the ex was mad you was out with the friends not with her at home. GET A LIFE AND GET OFF THE PC !!!!
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Mtnbiker
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Posted 9:38 pm, 11/06/2009
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MarlonB Being cautious or overplaying it? .Not for me to say. These are your minor kids. It's your call either way. It's a whole different set of rules with your situation.
If they're 24 and have a child you're no longer the one in control. That role has shifted and hopefully you'll still be there in a support role. MamaS seems to want a role where she can control / manipulate. Not feeling that healthy vibe where she's concerned.
Look I got the grandparent lectures on girls from the wrong side of the tracks trapping guys into getting them pregnant from 14 or 15 on. My dad knew when I took his car out instead of mine it would be returned in the morning with a couple hundred miles on it minimum.... I have no doubt he checked. He also realized that in high school no one told parents when we went to Winston or Charlotte because the other kids would be found out too. It's amazing how many teens you can get into one land yacht. I got the be careful, make sure whoever drives is not drinking at all, blah blah. The point of this: sure, my family worried and gave all the appropriate advice. They also backed off because they knew that if they squeezed too tight it would be counterproductive. There can be a balance folks.
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kscottbailey
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Posted 9:36 pm, 11/06/2009
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Business is different. Background/court/credit checks are fine in that case.
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marlonbrando
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Posted 9:24 pm, 11/06/2009
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I guess I have a different opinion because I have had people in my family who have been date raped(Aunt). I have known people who had their identity stolen by someone they were dating(cousin). I also watch America's most wanted, almost every time it is on.
Before I enter into a business contract with another company, I have checks done on them. I check their history, credit scores, insurance, and any time they have been in court and why. That is how business is done in the US. If I take that much care with my businesses(which is why they are doing well), then would I not take more care with my 17 year old daughter or 13 year old son? My children are well known which makes them targets for teenagers who know how much they have access too. The last thing I want is for them to hang around with teenagers who are throwing over vending machines, drinking too much, stealing people's credit cards, or spray painting public property. I know my children are careful, and would not do that, but at their age, they can make wrong judgement about character. I am the parent, and until they are either of age, or they ask me to stop, I will watch after them. I also have a gps trackers on their cellphones, and they actually have curfews. They cannot go out with people unless I met them and met their parents.
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kscottbailey
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Posted 9:03 pm, 11/06/2009
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I don't have anything in my background TO check, but if I found a friend or girlfriend had done one on me, we'd be done. What an incredible violation of boundaries. Unless the person is behaving oddly, and you're worried about it, running a background check on them is beyond unacceptable.
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RJspetkitten
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Posted 9:01 pm, 11/06/2009
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I have twin 25 yr. old sons & regardless of the circumstances, I would NEVER do a background check on someone they were dating. You have to cut the apron strings sometime.
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Mtnbiker
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Posted 8:58 pm, 11/06/2009
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If you're a codependent helicopter parent who has no concept of boundaries that would be perfectly acceptable behavior MarlonB.
On the other hand if you're an emotionally healthy person and you find out the parent (grandmother in this case) is overstepping her bounds you sit her down and say the following: "This is my life, this is my son and you will respect my choices as a parent or you will be cut out of our lives."
Doing the things you suggest MarlonB is incredibly intrusive. I love my parents but if they pulled something like that there would be holy H to pay. That is just not how people behave. Whatever happened to respecting someone else's right to live their life as they see fit?
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grayson
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Posted 8:52 pm, 11/06/2009
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People have always entered into friendships (many that have led to intimate relationships) without the information that you are referring to. I would suggest that if someone felt that they needed to do a background check before accepting my friendship, then they have already chosen to violate my friendship and I would prefer that they just do us both a favor and find another friend. What you are describing is not friendship and is not a good foundation for a relationship. There are better ways to discover such information that don't include violating someone else's privacy- it's called actually getting to know the person in question.
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marlonbrando
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Posted 8:42 pm, 11/06/2009
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With all the creepy sex offenders, perverts, and other criminals, if you do not check out who you are dating, or who your children are dating with a good background check you are a fool. Things have changed, people come into your family's life, so quick. You have no idea about their family, their background, or if they have been breaking into other people's houses, had their probation revoked....If you care about your family you check the sex offender's registry, you check the NC Criminal data base, and if you can you run a back ground check for crimes or anything in other states.It used to be so simple. Everyone knew everyone. You married the person you met in high school. The boy or the girl next door was the person most likely to be your sweetheart. Now if you get married without doing a credit check on the person, you are naive.
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Mtnbiker
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Posted 8:36 pm, 11/06/2009
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THANK YOU Grayson ... I was thinking the same thing.
Grandma / MamaS sounds like the reason it's good that grandparents' rights are limited. Sounds like the son is sick of her meddling and is wise to limit her access. She keeps this up and he'll keep the grandkid away from her entirely.... which probably would be for the best.
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grayson
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Posted 8:33 pm, 11/06/2009
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Am I the only one who thinks that it's creepy that this mother is taking it upon herself to investigate the person that her son is dating? Not only is she being a tool to in regards to her son, but also to the unsuspecting female who she obviously doesn't even know.
To the OP, you're overstepping boundaries that shouldn't be violated and although you would suggest that you are doing so for a noble cause, you are not. After all, is your son's sorted past enough to warrant violating someone else's privacy- someone's privacy who you don't even truly know?
"I have to let his mom know something or we dont even get to see him."
Gee....I wonder if one could establish a reason for your son's hesitation to include you in his and/or his son's life? (especially if you are consorting against him with an ex)
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marlonbrando
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Posted 8:14 pm, 11/06/2009
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If you happen to have a name, or a partial name, and a general age, perhaps you should start here
http://www.peoplelookup.com
It will bring up the people who live with the person, what city, age, etc, and it is free, unless you want more information.
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cat's meow
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Posted 11:14 am, 11/06/2009
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MaMas, are the son and mother of the child divorced? If so, I was told by a lawyer that there are some grandparent rights, if they are divorced.
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WWilkes
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Posted 10:42 am, 11/06/2009
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Ask Goerge Bush and d*** Dummy they had all that good info on WMD's in Iraq surely they could help. If not just ask batbrain he's a fountain of info. 
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Lone Ranger09
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Posted 10:35 am, 11/06/2009
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Just pray to Obama, he will get it for you and it wont cost you nothing.
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frmnswf
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Posted 10:28 am, 11/06/2009
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MaMaS, If you are concerned for your grandson's well being and he is in the custody of your son...and your son has a drug problem...you should contact DSS. The grandson can be put into your temporary custody...and your son will have the opportunity to straigten his life out, or lose his son.
You won't have to worry about where your grandson is being taken and the kind of people he is around.
This would be a tough call, since it is your son...
But you could be helping him and your grandson.
Best of luck to you.
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MaMaS
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Posted 09:11 am, 11/06/2009
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Not my neighbors, have not asked before I need to find out some info on a girl my son is seeing before he takes grandson around he will not give straight answer and other people have told me WRONG PLACE FOR # YR OLD> I want to know for sure that is all. Too many conflicting stories. I am just looking out for my grandson his dad has had BAD drug problem and I here this place is covered with them. He is 24 he can fend for himself but grandson different story. I have to let his mom know something or we dont even get to see him. Grandparents have no rights in NC.
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Pryinmind
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Posted 9:48 pm, 11/05/2009
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Yes, mama why do you want this information? Isn't everyone lives in Wilkes bad enought already without someone trying to find something to hurt someone? Try a little love for a change.
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A D V E R T I S E M E N T S
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